Dating your best friend and breaking up
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No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. You can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. This supports the Maven widget and search functionality. If you try to jump straight into friendship, this is likely to backfire as you'll both be too emotional. Agree to a set period of time to cease or minimize contact so feelings of attraction, romance, and resentment can fade.
Things to Do After a Best Friend Breakup | Dating Tips
How much time you give is subjective. Some people may be ready for friendship in a few weeks, while others may need a few months. How much time you spent in the relationship will have an effect; longer relationships typically require longer periods of limited contact. Wait until there's no unfinished business to pursue a friendship.
The reason it can be difficult to stay friends with an ex is that people feel the relationship is not finished. If you find yourself feeling you have more to say, or still need closure, it's not the right time to be friends. Wait until you feel at peace with the breakup to pursue a friendship. If you need to talk about a few more things before you can be friends, have a discussion with your ex about any loose ends a few weeks after you break up.
Be sure to tie up practical loose ends.
How is dating a friend different?
If you shared belongings or lived together, wait until your lives are completely separate before pursuing a friendship. Boundaries are important to any relationship, especially complicated ones. Recognizing your own feelings and limitations is key to establishing firm boundaries with an ex. Spend some time thinking over how your ex makes you feel and what kind of contact you're comfortable with. Maybe you don't like discussing your ex's new relationships. Maybe you don't like that your ex still calls you by your pet name.
It's always okay to request someone stop or tone down behaviors that bother you. Talk openly about boundaries. Find a good time and place to have a calm, sit down talk about your boundaries in regards to a friendship. Let your ex know directly what kind of contact is still appropriate and let them share their feelings as well. Let's not talk about dating together. Setting boundaries after a breakup can hurt, even if it's for the best. Recognizing contact will be more minimal and that certain topics are off limits can sting. After setting boundaries, do something nice for yourself.
8 Things You May Feel When Dating Your Best Friend
Go for a walk, watch a movie, or make plans with friends. In turn, this may help you recover sooner. Let go of the hopes you have for a relationship. Remind yourself the relationship is over. One of the major downsides of staying friends with an ex is that it can sometimes keep the hope of a relationship alive. Remember, you are exes for a reason and you need to let go of any dreams you had for the relationship.
If you find yourself fantasizing about your future together, stop. Think to yourself, "We're not together anymore, and that isn't going to happen.
Think about how you can support each other as friends instead of as romantic partners. Fundamentally different world views or different lifestyles can cause a breakup. Now that you're just friends, you can appreciate these differences more. Now you're free to embrace the positives of having a friend who's different from you instead of worrying about your romantic compatibility.
Call it off if you're feeling bad. It's okay to take a step back sometimes. Stay aware of your feelings as you pursue a friendship. If things feel strained and you feel sad or drained when hanging out, it's okay to slow things down. Say something like, "Hey, I'm still feeling a little sad when we hang out. Let's stick to long distance communication for another week or two.
If they're struggling with the idea of staying friends, respect any requests they make for space. Manage feelings of lingering attraction. It's normal to still feel attracted to someone after a breakup, but don't try to feed into these feelings. It's hard to stay just friends if you're still having sex or being physically intimate. Some exes are able to maintain a physical relationship, or be friends with benefits, after a period of time.