Online dating depressing me
Last Jump to page: Results 1 to 30 of Whenever I see an attractive woman I pretty much almost automatically know they're going to swipe left to me. I'm probably just going to delete it since it can really get to you after awhile when the women you like never like you back. Didn't even think I was bad looking until things like tinder and beautifulpeople. Put better pictures up and add something witty to your bio.
Originally Posted by imbored Originally Posted by ectobruh. Originally Posted by BigTimePlayer. I just don't get it really. What the fuk are all these women looking for? I'd like to think I'm at least a 7 in the way I look, but this chit is making me feel like I'm not even average looking.
Originally Posted by StrongRightArm. Just go out and meet people. Originally Posted by Ratfish. Meh, I've tried it in the past. Originally Posted by MoistHippo. Originally Posted by iliketojuggle. But only after that partner has passed an attractiveness test. Personally I think any kind of trait assessment in selection of a partner is shallow. Whether you want a hot guy or a smart guy your desire is just as shallow.
Stop quantifying arbitrary traits and just appreciate whatever experiences we may be able to have with each other. You don't need to be attractive or smart to do things together. An interesting post, and the Goldgeier study that he links to is also great.
I am coming to the inescapable conclusion that online dating really is uniquely terrible for average men. There seem to be a variety of reasons for this, but the upshot is that it's better for men like us to abandon online dating entirely. Leave it to the women and Chads, for whom it actually works. Real life is more nerve-wracking, but it's the place where average and below-average men might have a snowball's chance.
Real life lets other features shine. On most dating site, the physical appearance is more strongly present than any personality. Wait, how did they measure attractiveness?
If You Feel Bad About Being Single, It's Not Because You're Single
I think i found it. It's a dating app. People only see pictures. They will obviously try to get with the best case scenarios. Men are more thirsty for women, so women will always have more selection regarding "matches".
Dating apps are, with zero exception, always skewed in favour of women. Nothing wrong with that, it's just how this format works. Most humans make relationships in real life, as in meeting and talking to people in real life. A study on a dating app doesn't prove anything beyond behaviour on dating apps. Online dating isn't great for unattractive men because the match system requires a first impression based primarily on attractiveness is the barrier to communication.
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The other traits that make you different and sometimes more compatible with the person on the other end compared to more attractive guys can't be conveyed on these platforms. Please don't interpret the inability of online dating to accommodate everyone to mean that you're doomed. If women actually cared about those traits they would read the damn profile and start talking to you. The evidence is glaring us in the face: If they did, the first thing you'd see on tinder is a long bio.
Nobody's swiping right on a list of your favourite books. Are you boring enough that your personality can be properly conveyed in a character bio? Are you so dull that your personality doesn't shine through a page of writing when you're given total control of the content? Not your pick up lines, or your humor. Online dating is hard because you're competing with all the men in your city. Offline, you're just competing with the other guys in the room. If you resign yourself to not improving because there's someone better than you, you'll lose out on the opportunity to meet someone that is really a good match for you.
You're making the mistake of assuming that online dating and offline are entirely separate, which unfortunately they aren't.
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The thing is, before online dating exploded the way it did about five years ago, women would be more open-minded because the option of online dating wasn't there. So she would have to give you a chance at that party, because she might not find anyone better. Now, if the same woman goes to that party and doesn't find anyone there attractive, it's still not a problem because she can just go home on her online dating app and find someone that is. And, as you said, you're competing with every guy in your city, which means that even if you bring something interesting to the table in terms of money, talents, social life, etc.
I personally don't think we should give up on improving ourselves because it allows us to develop a purpose in life that goes beyond love and relationships. Also, there're still some women out there who don't put looks on a pedestal when it comes to dating, but the percentage of such women is unfortunately quite small and finding one who isn't shallow and is additionally interested because she shares the same interests is like finding a needle in a haystack and the search is likely to be long and daunting.
With the majority of women nowadays, only being a multimillionaire will have any major effect on overcoming any looks hurdles--and even that is becoming less and less effective. I was trying to console myself by reading the account of a holocaust survivor, called Man's Search for Meaning, about The author described how he'd see his wife's face urging him to push onwards.
Self improvement is good, but at its core stems from a lack of confidence and a belief that you are not good enough until you change. Women would rather resign themselves to being alone forever than date one. Women in that sub ignore men who message them, but play victim and act like they're all alone. It's like a rich person who has plenty of bread claiming they're starving, just because they don't have caviar.
Are 'swipe left' dating apps bad for our mental health? - BBC News
You say "that sub" like it's any different here. If it wasn't against the rules I could call out a lot of women on this sub for exactly that.
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Hmm, I don't know how Hinge works exactly, but I suspect that "likes" are not the same as matches, and that likes do not necessarily translate into dates. It's more like declaring, "I acknowledge this man as attractive", which is how normal life goes anyway, and is not necessarily anything more than that. I doubt the "likes" are returned by the men in a proportionate amount. People are wired to think "seeing is believing" in the evolutionary period where there were no photos. But a photo isn't very good at giving all the relevant information. Your physical dimensions are important yes but on this sub people act like it is 95 percent of what makes you attractive.
But it it is closer to 50 percent and highly dependent on who you want to attract. A part from looks there are other big factors like and you guessed it: Basically how you talk and act. Your walk, your stance, how you use your facial muscles. Being funny and intelligent are a good second. Those three things are roughly 40 percent of what makes you attractive. I am not saying those are easily learned or gained.
Online dating is depressing
But it something you potentially could improve upon. Instead of blaming all on looks. That is why these studies are limited. Because "attractiveness" is defined as how high photos are scored by women. People are more than their photogenics.
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I keep reading this "I am ugly so it is hopeless" dogma. It is almost like people on this sub have a frying pan as a face and want to date the the prettiest 20 percent of women. But even for you it isn't hopeless. Don't aim to high and be the best you can be. So you don't have to be alone. You might be good enough looking in real life but why settle for "good enough" when theres even better out there? You'll feel them and put them back to find the best one. Theres no incentive to settle for anything less because you know there is a plethora of other options just waiting for you to check them out.
You need to date in real life and stop relying on the internet giving you a false sense of confidence as far as making a move on a girl goes.